Lights dimmed to twilight overhead.
The cabin disappeared into a constellation of attendant call signs.
Just after midnight, the jet engines yawned awake, stretching their wings.
I leaned back into the window seat. Little to see but glowing red batons in a sea of black, I slid the shade shut.
…
Coldness reflected off the gray paint in the bedroom.
An empty room, except for a lonely bed.
An empty bed occupied by myself and my thoughts.
Wrapped in white bedding, I hid my head from the void around me. I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to accept. …
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked.
I nodded swiftly, a reflex before my brain could catch up.
If I let myself think, If I let myself sift through memories, my entire body might shut down.
My bare chest pressed against her exposed skin. She lay there…
“Let me squeeze in there.”
I stand back from the oven, releasing my hold on the steaming pan of white wine and garlic cloves.
My fiancee pulled the oven open for a quick inspection of the bread. The offered aroma spoke to her.
“Just a few more minutes,” she said…
I know it’s him.
But it’s not.
It’s a copy. A reprint. The idea of a memory. And yet my memory struggles to form his image. His smile exists somewhere in my brain. A puzzle piece. There are other puzzle pieces. The rust-brown color of his beard. His laugh. His…
If you’ve been reading me for any period of time, you know I try to offer up any raw, pure, relationship insights. I don’t try to sugar coat anything. I like to present it all as it is.
I think that’s the best way to do it.
And over the…
Twisting with the oxygen I breathed her giggle nourished my cells. It brought life to my body. Only to become the cancerous growth in my heart, eating away at what once was whole. Eventually, I had to purge the idea of her laughter, the only way of saving myself.
Yet…
“Are you okay?”
The question comes out of thin air, yet lingers like a building storm.
Why would the phone conversation with a trusted friend start in such a way? What did they know that I didn’t? I asked what they meant.
“So you haven’t heard.”
No. Apparently, I hadn’t.
…
Heading to the local gym has long been part of my daily routine. It’s as much of a physical release as it is a mental one. A way to be in my own element, music playing, away from the world. The nearest person might stand a few feet away but…
Like many of the requirements in high school, I took language classes for two years and sucked at it.
For four semesters I struggled to tread water in German class. …
