There's a line in a cartoon called Bojack Horseman that goes something like, "It'll never be easy, but it'll get easier." I feel like that's how it is with losing a parent. Dealing with it will never be easy, but, over time, it's "easier" than it once was.

And, god, I'm 100000% with you about the "your mom would..."insert line here. That always drove me crazy. "your dad would want you to do this," even things like "your dad would be so proud" made me upset. At the time I just wanted to yell that they didn't know that, and they had no right using him as a way to justify their thoughts. Thankfully hearing those kinds of things now is easier (though never easy).